Trying Things On

So, remember my beautiful pup I mentioned, barely a post ago? Yep, she's gone now. I had to give her a new home because mine couldn't handle her. Which sounds like my way of saying "I'm not responsible enough for a dog", just in a nicer way that may prevent some from saying "told you so". However! That is not fully the case. But I won't lie, it is a part of it. Mostly, she's a pointer, and pointers love to run, love to hunt, love to be outdoors as much as possible. And our quaint little house in the middle of Bloomington, just is not adequate for her in that manner. So, a lovely couple has her now, and they have lots of land and lots of time to train her with. I'm just happy for her, that she'll be very happy now. But I do love her so much, so that was hard.

Something about Lucy's coming and going seemed familiar to me, and I had to stop and think about why. Well, as I sat in my exercise psychology class not listening and instead writing, I jotted down some thoughts on this. Here they are:

I've been "trying on" lifestyles for most of my ancient twenty-two year old life. It started in elementary school, like many behaviours often do (never discount childhood). I wanted to try being a "girlfriend" because I had heard the word and seen it in movies, and so I gave it a shot. I didn't know I was supposed to actually talk to the guy... Needless to say, it didn't work out. I decided then that having a boyfriend was silly. I tried a few more times in middle school and high school, but that first one was enough to tell me that the idea wasn't all it's cracked up to be. And I've only been in one real relationship since (didn't work out either). Other lifestyles I tried (mostly in the form of clothing): being a hippie, being hardcore/hipster, preppy, school-spirited. I would try them out for a few weeks, maybe months, maybe a day. Now I have come to be content in greys, tans, stripes, and splashes of color. I tried to be a dancer... gave that lifestyle a shot, what with all of the rehearsal schedules, constant attention on my bod, always in a mirror, many injuries... decided no, not for me either. And I tried being the caretaker of a dog. That obviously didn't work out either. This is what I do; I try on lifestyles like I try on clothes (those that know me know that this can be a tedious process).

So here I am: in limbo.
Not in a bad way, per se, but just... "trying things out".
It makes sense now why I'm having a hard time committing to the career choice of a physical therapist. I haven't had the chance to genuinely try it out to see if I want it to stick forever (or for at least a very long time).

I'd like to try out many lifestyles to find that "one": baker, small business owner, personal trainer, massage therapist, pilates instructor, missionary, PT. What's it gonna be? Is it even possible to try these all out? Probably not. But who knows. Maybe it will just be very clear to me one day. I really pray that it will be, because I think I've stressed my parents out enough. But I can't help the fact that I'm such a whirlwind of a lady. If I could help it to stop, I probably would. But then again, my life would be a lot more boring, so maybe I wouldn't.