boiled brussel sprouts and a mug full o' cereal. okay that was weird.
read a little bit of "forgotten god" by francis chan, but was too lazy to look up the scriptures that he alluded to.
turned off the lights for bed, finally. but then i laid there and just felt a real uneasiness. look at them.
okay fine! light's on (it's nearly 3am now). and i'm shocked by what I found.
1) the Holy Spirit will give me words when i need them... mostly in reference to the times when i'm bearing witness about God. but it literally says here in Mark 13:11, "do not be anxious beforehand about what you are to say, but say whatever is given to you in that hour, for it is not you who speak, but the Holy Spirit". woah, that's awesome.
2) the Spirit will teach and remind me about what I need to know and do and feel in order to follow God well. Psalm 143:10 says "teach me to do your will, for you are my God! Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground!"... it's so good to know that I'm not just kinda left to figure stuff out on my own. I definitely need help, and that's one of the Spirit's prime roles in my life.
3) and then I was just struck to the floor with this verse, Ps. 143:6...
so that's where i'm really at. thirsty, and in awe of God, and in deep love with Him. He is amazing and I am so unworthy, but so so thankful. I could say "thank you God" for the gift of His Son, of the Spirit, of His unconditional Love, a million times over, and it would never never be enough. I am always thirsty for more. More of you God!
And then I decided to put on my top favorite song of all time, "Untitled 3" by Sigur Ros. There's something so.. so... still and lovely and reverent and thoughtful and freeing about that song.
and then I fell asleep. only to have another super strange dream that involved humans shrinking down to the size of babies and then dying because they shrank to the point where they needed to be in a mother's womb to survive. and I prayed that the Holy Spirit would intervene and restore them. but they died, and so I ran to the hospital down the hallway, told them what happened, and the nurse was so slowww and I couldn't speak because I had been crying and screaming too much in my room. so I ran back to my room, and found one of the babies still there, but somehow plumper, and I just wanted to hold her. and then I saw an old woman in the room, who was clinically insane. she was hunched over and mumbling nonsense with a crazed look in her eyes, carrying a strange doll that resembled her, with scraggly grey hair. So I grabbed the old lady's hand and pulled her along with me to the hospital, barely processing her presence because I was so distressed about what had just happened, totally in shock that it was even possible. and so I went into the hospital, and said "take care of her". and another nurse looked at me and said, "you look real sweet holding that baby, it really suits you" and I responded with "she's dead but I can't put her down I love her so much" and as I cradled her and looked down, I saw her pure, perfect lip twitch a bit. "oh my goodness, did you see that! she's alive! take her in, hook her up to something, she's going to be okay. help!" but no one moved. no one did anything and i was panicking madly. so I just held her close and prayed over her more. oh yeah, I did actually pray for them earlier. did it work? is the Spirit actually bringing them back to life? "go get the other babies! go get them! they're all alive!" but no one moved. and then i remembered the old lady and looked at her, and she looked back. her eyes clear for the first time, and everything within me froze over. she did it. this was spiritual warfare. that's why it didn't make sense with the real world. this was from another world. and so i prayed out loud. and i prayed and prayed and I could feel the little girl in my arms begin to gain strength. she wouldn't be restored to the full adult human that she was, but now she was mine to take care of, put in my charge by God as a remembrance of what I had witnessed of His supernatural strength to redeem and make things right.
and then I woke up, drenched in sweat, heart pumping. woah, what?
so that was my weird weird night.
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