"cake"

I thought I would just bake a cake
but it's usually more than "just baking a cake"

it's time, drawn out time
deliberately working with my hands
with smells and with textures.
it's a process that
I can see through to its end.

I don't usually tell a story
but this time I will.

it's eggs and flour and salt and pepper for home
it's black pepper for unexpected everythings and someones
it's vanilla bourbon sorghum for kentucky
it's sugar for comfort and softness
it's ginger for healing and being healed now
it's butter for love
it's dark chocolate trees for where I always find myself
it's dark chocolate skies for the beauty of not knowing

and this is where I am,
but I don't know what comes next.
and this is how I baked my cake today.

okay, hey

I've stepped away and now my feet feel shaky under the weight of my legs. It's hard to tell if the ground is wobbly or if it's just me.

I'm ready to feel enchanted again.
I'm eager for a deep, deep breath to sweep in and cleanse my whole self.
I want to write more, and write more honestly.


I was, and still am, very annoyed by my computer and by technology in general. I really hate how much time I spend sitting in front of a glaringly bright screen, scrolling up, scrolling down, click that, double click, crap why isn't this working fast enough, then comes the swirling multi-colored ball of hate, okay now it's back and running, I'll just stay clicking and scrolling for another hour or two.
And that's why I hate computers.

But I don't have to. I can spend more time reading, more time sitting and staring at the trees outside my window as I eat, more time jogging, walking to campus, going to yoga (or not paying for it and doing it in my room), painting more, crafting for the heck of it, crafting with friends, folding paper cranes, cuddling in my blankets after a long day, engaging in more conversations, baking creations, cooking for roommates, etcetera. So therefore, any time that I do spend at my computer, can just be used for a purpose, and it doesn't have to be so dang wasteful as it used to be. I've gone so long without being a computer-crazy person that I've been afraid to come back to blogging. But now I'm ready because I just love words and I love typing them out because it helps me to sort through things and to put thoughts together more clearly. I don't care if anyone reads, though I'm sure that no one will anyways. This is for me, for my sanity, for my chance again at word-enchantment.

So here goes nothin.